Pirate Cat Musings

Two pieces of comic book movie news dropped today, and one was pretty cool, while the other made me weep. I’ll give you the bad news first. Captain America, the seminal “Avengers” flick, will be penned (That’s an industry term for “written by”.. keep up with me here) by the two doofuses who wrote Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Narnia.

Who thought that would be a good idea? Seriously, a Christian propaganda flick and two independent films qualify these two to write the origin of the most patriotic character in all the universes of comics? I don’t count Superman as patriotic (The American way etc) because his best stories have nothing to do with upholding American Virtues, and everything to do with him being an alien and alone in this world. This is juxtaposed with my dad’s christian military belief that Superman should be all-American and torture Islamics blah blah blah.. did I mention my dad was the Chief of Interrogations at Guantanamo Bay for a year? True story. He also told me to my face that Hollywood embodies everything that’s wrong with America today, when I’m going to film school to direct feature films. He also predicted (with copious amounts of joy) that America would “wake up on election day and realize that they could not vote for a black man.” We all saw how that went. Can you tell I’ve had a couple drinks? I’m being very truthful.

Next, the main dude behind Chuck, a fantastic fucking show, is penning (Look! I know my industry lingo!) the next X-men film, or at least a draft for the next film. He is apparently using the original cast and not the Next Avengers, which AICN seems to be disappointed with. Fuck them with a … I don’t know, invent your own metaphor/simile. I’m majorely cool with this because Josh Schwartz created Chuck. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I love that show. I mailed a letter to the show, asking if the show would take me to dinner and a movie, and I even promised I wouldn’t tell the authorities if it touched me while I slept. Apparently he is also behind Gossip Girl and the O.C., which isn’t a plus for me… but I am an optimist, so I can look at it as if he can write dramatic encounters and cinematic conflict, which is a plus, because as a film student, I can appreciate drama. Bring it on!

-Anthony

Ok, so in order to make up for last week’s absence of a Tuesday tube video, I give you three videos this week. They are a chain of videos that work together in perfect harmony. Key word “harmony,” considering they are videos consisting of someone singing about what an animal is doing. If someone made a video like this of me, it would be something like “Man on a downward spiral.”

Two more after the break!
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Today is a good day if you are a trailer freak. Personally, I have a grudge against trailers. They pretend shitty movies are fucking awesome, like Doomsday or Matrix: Revolutions, which I desperately wanted to love, convinced myself I loved, went to rehab for my alcohol addiction, pulled my life together and then broke it off in a bitter divorce battle for custody over the children.

First, Watchmen has a bitchin’ trailer out. I like the choice of Muse as the music. It fits better than OJ’s gloves (And those were custom!)

The Star Trek trailer, which is bootlegged from Quantum of Solace, can be found at Rapidshit and MegaUpload. Bad. Ass. But, again, trailers are deceiving. Although I would let J. J. Abrams slap a choke chain on me and call me Sally, so it’s kind of a toss up. Updated!! Now in Hd here.

-Anthony

Hey guys. Long time no see. How you been? Really? That’s cool, I wish you luck with that. Now let me tell you about my week. Here are a couple things I’ve discovered that you might want to know about as well.

Marc Forster To Direct World War Z

Sweet! Finally, a zombie film I can look forward to. No more Romero and no more half assed remakes of Romero. From the director of The Kite Runner and Quantum of Solace (Which I have yet to see), we will get World War Z, penned by J. Michael Strazinskfklsjhglks. Michael created and manhandled Babylon 5 (Of which I’ve seen every episode… awesome show, even if it makes me an uber-geek), as well as writing Spider-Man for 6 years as well as several other runs of comic books, Thor being the most recent. This makes me froth at the mouth. [source]

FRINGE

Fringe was created by JJ Abrams. You might remember him, he created a little show called Lost, and the low budget indie flick Cloverfield. I don’t expect you to know these names, not a lot of people follow small time filmmakers. This show is characterized by Abram’s love of with holding information, mostly just because people don’t talk about it. There is an over-arching mystery, Joshua Jackson is the one liner king, and the same guy who does the music for Lost recycles the tunes for this show. Also, the creepy black guy from Lost who talks to Locke and Hurley, is a regular. I’ve become addicted, even though the science doesn’t work and it’s all based off coincidences. I guess that’s what that show is about though. Try it out on Hulu. It airs Tuesdays 9/8c.

Mr. Bit’s Amazon Reviews

This guy, who verbally fellated this website in a comment, writes the funniest Amazon reviews. This is the kind of stuff you run across on Stumble Upon. I’ll give you the newest one, about earrings:

Well folks,
Your ol’ pal Bitsy here to tell you about my latest adventure. I was eating a variety of popcorn meats while watching “Cribs” and I realized my bling factor was way, I mean, way low. I needed something that would Ice me up and down simultaneously. Being that times are tough I didn’t treat myself to a new Bentley(I could’ve gotten a great deal on Jermain Dupri’s freshly IRS seized). I wanted this year to be special, so I began my search. Now, understand there are more expensive rocks out there, but “The Bits” just don’t get blinged to anything but the finest Platinum. When The earrings arrived they were stunning. The cut was nice so all the light in the room refracted up and joyed my eyes. Even in medium light they looked great in my ears, eyebrow or nostril. Don’t worry, the posts are threaded to hold up that Bedrock. In Closing, if you are considering an intra-personal gift sure to please, bet Blingy with the 1.5Ct yummy num nums.

That’s all, folks! Sorry for missing Tube Tuesday this week, but I’m sure we’ll make up for it on the next go around.

-Anthony

I’m gonna parrot Trevor’s awesome cute animals post, because I don’t have any good original ideas of my own.

-Anthony (P.S. Also original content. Woot.)

The great thing about being a tiny website is I can post anything I want. That is to say, I could post a link to a scene from Who’s Naylin Paylin, as well as a simple picture of a nice pair of tits. So, when AICN or any other abbreviated website has to take down things like this, I can keep them up, because I’m not getting any studio kickbacks, what do I care if they get all angry and stuff?

There are two reasons I’m looking forward to this movie. 1) Christian Bale as John Connor. Brilliant casting, and he hasn’t been in a bad movie so far (Haven’t seen Harsh Times, I think that’s the only one) and 2) Jonathon Nolan (Memento, The Prestige, The Dark Knight) was the head writer.

Things I’m not happy with: 1) McG (Charlie’s Angels 1 + 2, not much else) directing. I give him one credit though, he exec produces/co-created Chuck, which is an EXCELLENT show. I would let that show take me out to dinner. 2) “Mototerminator”… lol. Cool looking, I guess.. but Mototerminator? Was it made by Motorola? Hello Moto.. killing machine! Pictures in order of left to right: Vicious little “Hydrobot,” “Mototerminator,” and the downgraded T-600.

-Anthony

Photoshop.  Can’t hate it.

-Trevor (Original shit.  None of that reposting someone else’s crap that StumbleUpon likes to shit out like it’s Taco Bell. Part II)

Oh, how the mighty fall. With the celebration of Obama’s election comes a huge blow to the world as we know it. I guess since it’s my blog, I don’t have to remind you that I’m biased, but Michael Crichton is a large part of how I got to where I am, and losing him heavies my heart.

Crichton passed away at the age of 66, but my god, from cancer. This has to be an act of God, as this man looks like a greek deity. Check out this handsome motha-effer!

That is not a 60 year old, that is a man carved from marble.

Crichton wrote his first novel, The Andromeda Strain, while he was in medical school. Upon its release in 1969, it quickly rose in popularity and sold to Universal for $250,000. This pimp was working the 12 hour days in med school, yet still managed to pull in the cash. From here, he simply kept writing. Congo, Great Train Robbery, Jurassic Park, Timeline, Prey, State of Fear, and Next are some of his bigger books. In 1992, he created the tv show ER, which will be concluding its final season soon.

His style is unique, in that Crichton would always research a novel. He always wrote from the background of a scientist, but with an incredible narrative feel. With every work he published, he could always back it up with stats, graphs and real science, such as the mind blowing concept of cloning dinos in Jurassic Park, all the way to when he defended his controversial stance on Global Warming during an interview with the Associated Press. He brought graphs and proofs with him! How badass is that?

Crichton has influenced me in several ways, first as a storyteller, and second as an athiest. His wikipedia page tells you a little about his unusually logical views on life, such as his staunch atheism, staunch anti-UFOism (its a religion), and overall kickassery.

Michael Crichton, who obtained a Ph.D in BAMF from the U. of Awesome, was married five times and is survived by one child. He has one unpublished novel, which is delayed, but will be published post-humous.

R.I.P. sir, you have done a great thing for the world. You have challenged our minds and imaginations.

-Anthony

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot…

Just a friendly reminder that today is V-Day, where we get to watch explosions, knives, and Natalie Portman’s bald but oddly sexy head.  Since I can’t seem to find a stream I can post of the full V for Vendetta movie I’ll just have to trust you to find a way to watch it yourself tonight.  On a slightly related note, here’s the music video for “Sophisticated Sideways Ponytale” from Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head.

-Trevor

p.s. holy shit i fuckin’ centered an embedded object.  Self-kudos awarded.

Hello Chicago.

Because a mark in history was made last night, and just in case you missed it for some horrible reason, here’s the speech from President-Elect from Chicago last night:

Transcript and higher quality video after the jump
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